Thank You Notes for Gifts or Services Rendered

I sat down to write thank-you notes today and had a feeling that I was doing something unusual, something epic, something even historical. It would have been easy to rattle off an email, to let my spoken “thanks!” at the moment of receiving the gift be enough; it would have been even easier not to write a thank you note at all. But I slid open my stationary drawer and selected a few cards, tested a few pens to make sure they would flow as swiftly as my thoughts would, and began. “Dear _____,”

That was as far as I got for a few minutes, because I realized that it had been much too long since I had written this person, and there was much too much that they should have been thanked for that I had not thanked them for. My notecards were quickly filled and quickly addressed. I am wondering now why I don't do it more often when I know from personal experience how important it is.

Ideally, a thank you note should be written within a week or two of the favor given, as promptitude shows your appreciation. Begin with an address of affection. “Dear _______,” is never too affectionate for acquaintances, coworkers, family, or friends. Name and comma is for short to-do notes and emails: pieces of communication that need to be communicated quickly and to the point. A thank-you note is opposite of all this by definition. Remember that this is not a business letter; you are not trying to be concise or to-the-point. You are not trying to get someone to do something or convince them of anything except of the fact that you appreciate them. The point of this letter or note is to praise, describe, or admire, in words, the thing you were given. You want to make the giver happy they gave you the gift, and be blessed in their generosity.

Be effusive. Be flattering. Be sweet. Be descriptive. But be truthful. If you can’t find something nice to say then you are not looking hard enough. If you don’t like the color, can you at least say it fits well? That you are already using it? That someone complemented you on it? That the gift testifies of the giver’s generous and thoughtful nature?

If you know the person fairly well or have attempted to keep up a relationship, friendship, or closeness to them, it is an added benefit to thank the person for more than the obvious, and to include personal anecdotes or tidbits from your daily life that could show how you are using or appreciate the gift. Some of the sweetest thank you notes I have gotten included stories about how they used the item I gave, or specific information about how the gift met a need, encouraged, or blessed the recipient.

Thank-you-for-the-gift-I-like-it-a-lot,” notes are unacceptable.

Why a handwritten note? Isn’t a verbal expression of thanks enough? What about an email, text message, or post on their facebook wall? The answer is in the non-written, unspoken etiquette guide of character and graciousness. A hand-written note shows that you cared enough about this favor done to you that you chose to take the time and effort to compose your thoughts and painstakingly write out those thoughts in tangible form for the other person to read. There is nothing like being sent something that someone has held in their own hands, inscribed with their own ball point pen and scrawling letters, and sealed with their own spit. Sometimes it takes something physical to bring a point home, and internet or instant communication doesn’t have the same effect. Many business professionals agree that emails are great for efficiency, scheduling, quick communicating of concepts, and reaching many people at once. However, when it comes to personal relations, they agree that nothing can take the place, or influence, of a handwritten thank-you note.

Are you grateful for a service rendered? Has anyone given you their time, energy, resources, money, friendship, prayers, encouragement, faithfulness, or hard work? If so, you should be grateful, and you should express that gratefulness to them.

Many owners of small businesses mail a handwritten thank you note as soon as a business transaction with a customer is completed. As a result, they have a higher customer retention rate than other businesses of similar kind. I know that I am more likely to buy from a store again if I receive a thank you note after completing a purchase with a specific store.

Thank you notes make friends and influence people. If you have received a gift from a family member, friend, coworker, or acquaintance, it is your duty of geniality to write a note expressing appreciation and gratitude for what they have given you. Not only will this be the glue in your relationship, but it will also build your reputation and character because it shows humility. A proud or self-consumed person would not make the time to write a thank you note because he assumes that he was deserving what was given to him, or that he was entitled to it. He takes the gift or service rendered for granted. “Of course they gave me their time; of course they served me. My talents and superiority demand fealty of the highest order. They shouldn’t be thanked for something it was their duty to do.”

A thank you note is appropriate more often than not, though obviously a thank you note after the receipt of a hershey kiss or a band-aid is not necessary. Check out the list below to find which services or gifts should trigger a written thank you note.

You had dinner at someone’s home as a guest

You stayed at someone’s home as a guest

You were given baked goods

Someone gave you a service that you would normally have had to pay for

Someone gave you a gift (with a value over ten dollars)

Someone went out of their way to meed your need or emergency

Someone donated to a personal cause of yours

An employee served you faithfully

A client made a purchase from you

Someone has been unusually encouraging, sacrificial, or hardworking on your behalf

Thank you notes to fathers, mothers, grandparents, siblings, and friends are always acceptable and appreciated, especially when there has been no apparent reason for the note. A note of appreciation or praise out of the blue will often lift someone’s spirits above the clouds. Stop procrastinating or stalling for time. Open that card, take the cap off your pen, and write.

© 2009 Jane Grey